I really love the song that is the title of this post. I love the piano, the beat, and the lyrics. I feel like my life the past few weeks could be summed up with "no body said it was easy." The crazy thing is is I can't really pinpoint what's going on. I was reading a blog earlier this evening, my typical nightly ritual, and the author posted about being in a waiting room. Not a literal waiting room, but talking about the way you feel in a waiting room. Something resonated with me when I read that blog. I feel like right now I am in a waiting room. I am not sure what type of room I am waiting in, but I feel like I am waiting. There is music quietly playing, magazines to be read and I am anxiously waiting for my name to be called. That's the point right? No one sits in the waiting room for the music or the magazines. We go there for a reason, a purpose. And we're all just waiting for our named to be called. So thinking along those lines (apologizing in advance for ramblings... thinking out loud) what if we're too distracted or too busy with all the things around us to hear our names. What if the time that we're in the waiting room could have been shortened if we had simply been listening to the One calling our name. Man, that hits hard. I have such a difficult time just listening. I am constantly involved with something. Looking at my schedule for the next week or so, I am not surprised to see that EVERY night has something planned. That's how I do things. Fill my schedule to overflowing and then long for some down time. Then when I have not much going on, I want to be busy. Something doesn't seem right. I am never content with just waiting and listening. I am in search for the fastest way to an end. So then I wonder, what am I missing because I don't listen. It has become about me me me. Things I want to do, need to do, have to do. And has little to do with His plan. His calling. His purpose for me.
so I am addicted to facebook. there it is. I just layed it out there for everyone to know. I can spend countless hours on there chatting, looking at pictures, uploading new pictures, and just checking in on people. my friend list is extensive and sometimes it's the only form of communication I use with quite a few people... sad, i know. My dear roommate, Laci, has challenged me to fast from using facebook. When she first mentioned the idea I had a mild panic attack. How will I connect with new people from church? How will I know what's going on? How can I see how everyone is doing? Clearly, a little over dramatic. She then said it didn't have to be forever, whew, but still. My reaction really shows how much of myself I invest in an online world. I do add new people from the church to my friend list and chat with them, but I can do that through email, or better yet, maybe a phone call. I have allowed myself to become dependent on facebook. As I write that it seems a bit bizarre, but it's so the truth. I wake up, get ready for work, check facebook. Come home grab my computer, check facebook and spend too much time on there. Have dinner, check facebook, get ready for bed, check facebook... You get the point. My room is a disaster, I have pictures to edit, I have coffee dates to schedule, a yard that needs tending to, a ministry I'm in charge of that hasn't taken priority. There are things I need to be doing, but I am not doing them because my time isn't being used wisely. So goodbye facebook for at least a week.
Today a little piece of my heart got on a plane for Mexico, and I am not sure I will ever see her again. Sometime between November and April 23rd this little girl won me over and my heart will never be the same. Her story is heart breaking, her smile heart warming and her laugh just precious. To her I was her teacher. I would like to think I was her friend too, well as much of a friend as possible when I'm 25 and she's 4. I mean, I cared for her. Loved her more than I can express and really just wanted to bring her home with me.
There are many reasons why I love this city, but these are just a few...
First there is little sunshine. She's my favorite, even though you aren't supposed to have any! She is so sensitive and ALWAYS gets her feelings hurt. She cries every time I SHHHH her. One day she was crying during circle time and I was like L, why are you crying. She said, you SHHHed me. I said, who SHHHed you. And she looked at me, pointed and said YOU DID. It is like that every day. She has the most precious smile and her little life has already experienced so much tragedy I just want to bring her home with me and love on her. She used to call me Ms. Alanda and it was so cute. I wish she didn't figure out how to say my real name! I call her little sunshine because she seems to always frown. She smiles a lot too, but she has the most serious face that looks like a frown and I can't help but call her sunshine. She repeatedly tells me her name isn't little sunshine. Oh, and she has this puffy green coat and when she wears that I call her Marshmallow!! Oh she loves me! 
M is hilarious but can get angry quickly. We went about a month without any kicking, screaming, hitting and biting. And quite frankly, it was the most wonderful month ever. She bit the heck out of me one day. I pray for her often! The past couple weeks have been tough for her. She glares at me if I tell her she can't do something or talks out of turn. She has the most amazing hair when she wears it down. I just want to touch it all the time! She can be super sweet and has a really fun personality. But when she gets mad... she get REALLY REALLY MAD.
