nothing fancy

It's A Wedding Weekend....

2010-10-08T16:40:00.002-05:00

This Sunday, 10-10-10-, Laci and Brandon are GETTING MARRIED. It's hard to believe that it's here. Congrats to both of you! And I'm so glad we're neighbors!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOELLE

2009-11-08T19:34:00.005-06:00

I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY! You are precious my little lovie! I wish I could see you and spend more time with you, but I really love our video chats! I can't wait until Thanksgiving to hold you and love on you! I know the Lord has some pretty amazing plans for your life! I can't wait to watch them unfold! Love you always! Nonnie

"no body said it was easy"

2009-08-30T20:48:00.001-05:00

I really love the song that is the title of this post. I love the piano, the beat, and the lyrics. I feel like my life the past few weeks could be summed up with "no body said it was easy." The crazy thing is is I can't really pinpoint what's going on. I was reading a blog earlier this evening, my typical nightly ritual, and the author posted about being in a waiting room. Not a literal waiting room, but talking about the way you feel in a waiting room. Something resonated with me when I read that blog. I feel like right now I am in a waiting room. I am not sure what type of room I am waiting in, but I feel like I am waiting. There is music quietly playing, magazines to be read and I am anxiously waiting for my name to be called. That's the point right? No one sits in the waiting room for the music or the magazines. We go there for a reason, a purpose. And we're all just waiting for our named to be called. So thinking along those lines (apologizing in advance for ramblings... thinking out loud) what if we're too distracted or too busy with all the things around us to hear our names. What if the time that we're in the waiting room could have been shortened if we had simply been listening to the One calling our name. Man, that hits hard. I have such a difficult time just listening. I am constantly involved with something. Looking at my schedule for the next week or so, I am not surprised to see that EVERY night has something planned. That's how I do things. Fill my schedule to overflowing and then long for some down time. Then when I have not much going on, I want to be busy. Something doesn't seem right. I am never content with just waiting and listening. I am in search for the fastest way to an end. So then I wonder, what am I missing because I don't listen. It has become about me me me. Things I want to do, need to do, have to do. And has little to do with His plan. His calling. His purpose for me.

So while I am in this waiting room, waiting for? I will wait. God is doing some big things in my heart right now. And while I wait for Him to reveal those things to me, I will love Him with everything I have. I will put down the distractions, and run to Him.

He is the One who will be calling my name.

So until then.

I will wait.

What are you doing?

facebook fast and update

2009-08-09T22:13:00.002-05:00

so I am addicted to facebook. there it is. I just layed it out there for everyone to know. I can spend countless hours on there chatting, looking at pictures, uploading new pictures, and just checking in on people. my friend list is extensive and sometimes it's the only form of communication I use with quite a few people... sad, i know. My dear roommate, Laci, has challenged me to fast from using facebook. When she first mentioned the idea I had a mild panic attack. How will I connect with new people from church? How will I know what's going on? How can I see how everyone is doing? Clearly, a little over dramatic. She then said it didn't have to be forever, whew, but still. My reaction really shows how much of myself I invest in an online world. I do add new people from the church to my friend list and chat with them, but I can do that through email, or better yet, maybe a phone call. I have allowed myself to become dependent on facebook. As I write that it seems a bit bizarre, but it's so the truth. I wake up, get ready for work, check facebook. Come home grab my computer, check facebook and spend too much time on there. Have dinner, check facebook, get ready for bed, check facebook... You get the point. My room is a disaster, I have pictures to edit, I have coffee dates to schedule, a yard that needs tending to, a ministry I'm in charge of that hasn't taken priority. There are things I need to be doing, but I am not doing them because my time isn't being used wisely. So goodbye facebook for at least a week.

Life has been a bit of a whirlwind lately. This summer has flown by. I have met some amazing people that started coming to Ephesus. God has blessed me with an insane amount of great friends. Janet and Seth are now married. It's all going well.

I have been thinking a lot lately about being pure in heart. Here recently I've become more and more aware of just how ugly my heart is. Gosh, sometimes my flesh can just start going and going and going and my heart gets so ugly. I get frustrated and annoyed and just pissed at every little thing. Then I realize that I am letting my flesh win. I am reminded daily how much I need a Savior. I cannot imagine my life without Jesus. But so many times I go through life thinking I have it all under control and life is peachy and things are going well and WAM a major "flesh flash" happens and I am like, whoa, that was ugly. Has that ever happened to you? I am in desperate need Jesus every single day. Every single moment I am living and have the chance to think. My flesh gets in the way so many times and I struggle daily to "die to my flesh." What does that even look like? I think it all begins when realizing you are nothing without Jesus. We have nothing, are nothing, and can be nothing without Him. He is it.

A little piece of my heart is gone...

2009-04-23T19:45:00.003-05:00

Today a little piece of my heart got on a plane for Mexico, and I am not sure I will ever see her again. Sometime between November and April 23rd this little girl won me over and my heart will never be the same. Her story is heart breaking, her smile heart warming and her laugh just precious. To her I was her teacher. I would like to think I was her friend too, well as much of a friend as possible when I'm 25 and she's 4. I mean, I cared for her. Loved her more than I can express and really just wanted to bring her home with me.

She and her parents were in an accident when she was 1 or 2 and both of her parents died. Knowing that story made me want to love her even more. I wanted to be more than just her teacher. I wanted to be someone she will remember forever and think of often in the years to come. I wanted her to see Jesus in me. And now I just keep praying that she finds Him. That she finds the Father. That she feels loved in Mexico, is taken care of, and has everything she needs. It breaks my heart that she's gone. I miss her already.

I'm praying for her. For her safety. That her heart really does find Jesus so that I can see her again because I'm not sure I will ever see her again on earth. But thank you Jesus that I can place my hope and trust in Him. That He knows my little sunshine too and loves her even more than me or her sisters. That He knows the pain she will experience when she really understands what happened to her parents. And maybe, just maybe, one day she will look back and remember her time in Pre K and remember me. I'm selfish in that regard. I want her to remember me. But more than that, I want her to remember how much I really cared and loved her and from that, she somehow saw how much Jesus loves and cares for her. That's all.

April Shout Out goes to... Mallory Danielle

2009-04-02T19:50:00.005-05:00

What to say, what to say. Mallory is one of my oldest dearest friends. We have known each other for probably 13 years. She is a giver and will give just about anyone anything they need. She is passionate about children, family, and her friends. We have some of the most random conversations any 2 people can have. She knows all of my crap and still loves me the same. She loves with everything she has and holds nothing back. Her country accent is amazing and she makes fun of me for losing mine when i came to the city. Our times together are few, but we can pick up right where we left off. She is like my sister and I love her very much!

what I LOVE about Charlotte

2009-03-07T16:34:00.003-06:00

There are many reasons why I love this city, but these are just a few...

last weekend it was pouring rain, then snow, had a snow day.

today it's 82 and beautiful outside

we have a really cool uptown theater with love seats

most of my friends are here

EPHESUS CHURCH www.ephesuschurch.tv

east blvd.

big daddy's

big city with a small town feel

Dilworth, Elizabeth, and Southend

Park days

it must be hard to be 4 & 5

2009-02-07T15:41:00.005-06:00

Here lately in PreK 2, where I am teaching, the children have been crazy. I am not sure what has been going on, but every day someone is crying and whining. It must be hard for them with the state of our country and all. This economic crisis must be keeping them up at night and interrupting their sleep schedules. The sun must not be shinning enough and the days must be far to cold for pleasant attitudes. I think that's it. Our world is in crisis and they must be feeling it too. One day I looked at them and said... You are making me want to pull my hair out. They laughed and I told them I was serious and I got some concerned looks and requests not to follow through (I didn't by the way, I wasn't ready for that kind of pain). I haven't blogged about my new job, so I thought I would do a little post about a couple of the children that consume my days and weeks.

First there is little sunshine. She's my favorite, even though you aren't supposed to have any! She is so sensitive and ALWAYS gets her feelings hurt. She cries every time I SHHHH her. One day she was crying during circle time and I was like L, why are you crying. She said, you SHHHed me. I said, who SHHHed you. And she looked at me, pointed and said YOU DID. It is like that every day. She has the most precious smile and her little life has already experienced so much tragedy I just want to bring her home with me and love on her. She used to call me Ms. Alanda and it was so cute. I wish she didn't figure out how to say my real name! I call her little sunshine because she seems to always frown. She smiles a lot too, but she has the most serious face that looks like a frown and I can't help but call her sunshine. She repeatedly tells me her name isn't little sunshine. Oh, and she has this puffy green coat and when she wears that I call her Marshmallow!! Oh she loves me!

M is hilarious but can get angry quickly. We went about a month without any kicking, screaming, hitting and biting. And quite frankly, it was the most wonderful month ever. She bit the heck out of me one day. I pray for her often! The past couple weeks have been tough for her. She glares at me if I tell her she can't do something or talks out of turn. She has the most amazing hair when she wears it down. I just want to touch it all the time! She can be super sweet and has a really fun personality. But when she gets mad... she get REALLY REALLY MAD.

This class is fun. I am enjoying my time there. I love being their teacher and watching them learn. I know the last couple of weeks have been a little rough, but I am believing with the warmer weather also comes more pleasant hearts!

Happy New Year (a bit late)

2009-01-17T18:39:00.002-06:00

Goodbye 2008 Hello 2009.

I spent this new year's eve on the couch with a fever watching some basketball. It sucked! I have been sick since December 28th, not that I am keeping track or anything. My lungs have revolted against me and I just can't get rid of this nasty cough. Turns out bronchitis likes my lungs a little too much and still won't let go... LEAVE please!

I went to a beautiful wedding. It really was the most beautiful ceremony I have ever been to. I hope my wedding is like that one day! Congrats Rachel and CJ.

I pray this year is the best one yet!

Ridiculous

2008-12-20T18:42:00.002-06:00

So this is a story I must share because it's rather ridiculous... hilarious... absurd...

Laci (my roommate) and I sent out Christmas cards this year. They were very cute I might add. Well I called my aunt and uncle to say hello and see how they were doing and asked... Uncle Jim, did you get my Christmas card? He said in a blah tone... Yes. So me being on the other end of the receiver began to think... well maybe he didn't like it. I asked, did you like it? response... should i? I am getting a bit confused. I reply... well yes. response... why? Well Uncle Jim, I'm on the card that's why. Then the question that summed the tone and everything else was... who's that other girl?!?!?!!? WHAT? Ummmm... that's my roommate uncle jim. Oh. ok. Uncle Jim, please tell me you didn't think I had gone to the other side of the rainbow (my words exactly) and he said... well I had my doubts since I never hear you talk about boys you're seeing, so I didn't know. I was like Oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my gosh. No, Laci is my roommate. I said, maybe I should send out a disclaimer. And he was like, yeah, that's a good idea. WHAT?!?!?

RIDICULOUS i say... RIDICULOUS

I called my cousin Mary Beth and asked her about it. She laughed so hard I thought she would drop the phone and reassured me the card was very cute and that she didn't think that and neither did her husband. She was like he is a silly old man Amanda and you shouldn't listen to what he says. He is CRAZY.

Gosh.

For these I am thankful....

2008-11-29T21:20:00.002-06:00

-Family... i have a really great family. we are dysfunctional, but fun. I miss my brother like crazy and really wish he was in my every day life, but I am glad he is happy.

-My sister-in-law. She's pretty amazing and makes my brother a better man

-My niece... she's the cutest thing ever.

-My dad. I love love love him

-My mom. She gave me her artistic abilities. love her

-Jesus. I am such a horrible sinner and He loves me and forgives me.

-Laci. She is a great roommate.

-Brittany. One of my favorites. She makes me smile.

-Deidre. my bff.

-Mallory. she always makes me laugh

-Todd and Leeanne. my life wouldn't be the same without them

-Ephesus. My church is amazing. My pastor and his wife are amazing too.

-A roof over my head

-More friends than I deserve

-A fun job

-Friends that i consider family

-a nice calm relaxing weekend

-Eric, Leah and Jace

-my education

-being healthy

-having the ability to love and care for people

-to be an American and be Free

-little kids who don't know how to say my name, but reach my heart anyway

I am thankful for a lot of things that I often forget to think of. I am going to work on being more aware of all of my blessings.

Thank you Jesus!

because I just can't help it...

2008-11-08T22:34:00.009-06:00

Gosh... I just LOVE her.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NOELLE

2008-11-08T07:13:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that one year ago today I was waiting anxiously for the call that my niece had arrived. All we knew is that it was a girl and her name started with N. I guessed every name, or so I thought. So a little after 7 am I got a phone call from my brother and he said... SHE'S HERE. My first question was, does she have red hair... and the answer was YES. I was so excited and wished so badly that I could be there.

Well now she is a busy little 1 year old who gets bruises faster than I can blink, falls more than she stands, and is smaller than any 1 year old I've ever met! She is precious and very sweet. I love her very much.

Happy birthday sweet Noelle!

CHECK IT OUT

2008-10-22T10:50:00.002-05:00

The website is up and running. There are still things to be added, but it's up now and can be viewed.

Enjoy

www.phelanphotography.net

just a few things...

2008-10-19T19:37:00.003-05:00

Let's see here....

I am jobless at the moment.

I've been looking for employment for several weeks now, and still nothing.

As I was feeling a bit discouraged on Tuesday of this past week, the Lord again, showed me a promise. It came in the form of a rainbow in the BLUE SKY. There were wispy clouds in the sky, and there it was, a small piece of rainbow... see it?

I was washing dishes the other day and I began thinking about the story of Mary and Martha and then I compared those women to Laci and me. Well folks, I'm Martha. Yep, it just came to me. I am so focused on making things look good, occupied with making sure everything is in it's place, constantly staying busy, just to make sure things get completed. And I thought about Mary. She sat at Jesus' feet. She wanted to spend time with the Savior, and while Martha wanted that same thing, she was wrapped up doing instead of just being and enjoying. I want to be a Mary. Laci is more like Mary. If we were to have dinner with Jesus, she would definitely be sitting at His feet listening to Him, while I would be in the kitchen cleaning up after the meal, putting things away, and doing everything BUT just sitting at His feet. I am learning. I want to be more like Mary.

Last:

Saturday I woke up and my car battery was DEAD. *side note: I tend to have car issues.* Laci and I try to jump my car. NOTHING. There was a man passing by walking his dog so I asked him if he could check and make sure we were doing it correctly. It DID look right to me, but I just had to make sure. It was positioned correctly, it was just that my battery was too dead to receive a charge. He left us for a moment, then came back with this brilliant charge box thing. It worked. Laci and I go to Pep Boys (great place by the way) to get my battery, and her oil changed. We are there for maybe 45 minutes, and we literally talked with EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE PEOPLE THERE. We know the employees by name, the customers conversed with us and made the time go quickly. Later on that day, we go to Big Daddy's for dinner, and our waiter would not leave us alone. He came to our table, trying to make conversation, propping his elbows on our table, and loving our new friendship. Laci was praying every time he would pass by that he would keep on walking. It was rather humorous!

Oh what a nice day.

Ephesus is great. I really love my church. The worship. The message. The people. The passion. It's amazing and I am so blessed. Check it out... www.ephesuschurch.tv

parker and leyton photo shoot

2008-10-14T19:59:00.009-05:00

the niece again

2008-10-08T21:19:00.009-05:00

Noelle turns one in 1 month! Crazy huh? I can't believe she will already be 1. here are some pictures deana just sent me... she is soooo cute. enjoy the pictures

fear

2008-10-05T23:09:00.002-05:00

I am going to try and be really candid in this post because this is something that I am finding myself dealing with lately, and I feel the more open and honest I am about it, it might not affect me so much in the future.

I have decided that fear is a very real intense feeling, that occurs for me at times when I am facing the unknown and the what ifs. Here lately, I have been overwhelmed with fear. Fear of not succeeding, fear of not making a difference in someone's life, fear of what's going on in the world, fear of flying, and things like that. This feeling is something new for me. I am not one who gives in to these feelings, and I actually don't experience them often and I am not sure why here in the past couple weeks the feelings have overwhelmed me so much, they have resulted in a small panic attack.

I really feel that we need to be praying for our nation right now. Praying for protection, for people to come to know the Lord, for the Election, for our current President. Even if you don't like him, he has been placed in an authority position, and it is Biblical to pray for those placed in leadership over you. For this moment in time, President Bush is the leader of our Country. Pray that the Lord works in and through him, giving him clarity in thought and decision making. Pray for our economy. Pray for our troops, those people in Iraq and Afghanistan. The children who live in a constant state of fear every day. Pray for the moms who are raising their children to love the Lord and those who aren't. Our world seems to be spinning out of control. This is where my thoughts have been lately. Overwhelmed with the way things are, forgetting to acknowledge the One who holds the future.

I know God is faithful. I know He loves His people. He is sovereign, just, merciful, gracious and loving. He is forgiving and welcoming. He is all-knowing and all-powerful.

Pray with me please. Our nation needs our prayers.

"Fear not for I have redeemed you,

I have called you by name and you are Mine."

Isaiah 43

because my roommate is cool...

2008-10-05T20:18:00.002-05:00

I decided to copy and past her survey. if you want to be cool too, comment back with these questions copied and pasted with your answers filled in! it will be so fun. promise

1. What time is it?
9:02
2. Name that appears on your birth certificate:
Amanda Marie Phelan
3. Nickname:
mandaphe, manda, mand
4. Parents Names:
Tim and Lynne
5. Siblings:
Jonathan, Ken, Susan
5. Number of candles that will appear on your next birthday cake:
26 on the 26th… my golden birthday!
6. Date that you will blow them out:
May 26th
7. Pets:
none. would like a dog, but too much work and not interested in my house smelling like a dog
8. Eye Color:
hazel or brown depending on the clothing
9. Hair Color:
red
10. Tattoos:
nope
11. How much do you love your job?
don’t really have one at the moment
12. Favorite Color:
green and orange
13. Hometown:
Waynesville, NC
14. Current residence:
Charlotte, NC
15. Favorite food:
really depends on the mood… but i love pizza
16. Been to Africa:
no……..someday though
17. Been toilet papering:
once… my youth pastor’s house for his birthday
18. Loved somebody so much it made you cry:
yes
19. Ever been in a car accident:
yes, one. thanks mr. ratcliffe. my only one ever and it totaled my car. fantastic
20. Croutons or bacon bits:
croutons
21. Sprite or 7up?
sprite
22. Favorite movie:
Uptown Girls, Finding Forester, Pride and Prejudice
23. Favorite day of the week:
Saturday
24. Favorite word or phrase or action:
Seriously or I mean
25. Favorite toothpaste:
colgate total
26. Favorite restaurants:
Big Daddy’s, East Blvd. bar and Grill…local faves
27. Favorite Song:
definitely can’t pick just one… i love music
28. Favorite pop:
sprite or dr. pepper
29. Favorite sport to watch:
Football and basketball
30. Preferred type of ice cream:
ben and jerry’s half baked… love this
31. Favorite Sesame Street Character:
Big Bird… so cheerful and calming
32. Disney or Warner Bros:
Disney
33. Favorite Fast Food Restaurant:
not sure i have one as of late… qdoba if it’s considered fast food…?
34. When was your last hospital visit:
last year sometime. nothing major
35. What color is your bedroom carpet:
beige… wish it was hard woods!
36. How many times did you fail your driver’s test:
zero
37. Who is the last person you got e-mail from before this:
some person telling me about a mortgage job… not interested
38. Have you ever been convicted of a crime:
not telling haha… that would be a negative
39. What store would you choose to max out your credit card:
probably target… so much goodness in there
40. What do you do most often when you are bored:
nap, read, catch up on shows
41. Name the person that you are friends with that lives the farthest away:
my cousins are my friends and they live in philly and ct… boo
42. Most annoying thing people ask me:
is your hair color real
43. Bedtime:
whenever i get sleepy
44. Who will respond the quickest:
don’t know
45. Who is the person that is least likely to respond:
don’t care….these were always my least favorite questions on these things.
46. Favorite all time TV show:
full house, dawson’s creek and 7th heaven
47. Last person you went out to dinner with: Deidre, Leyton, and Parker

48. Last movie you saw: Nights in Rodanthe and Maid of Honor

49. Last book you read: The Thrill of the Chast

50. Dream Car: don’t have one really

51. Time when you finished: 9:17

Happy Heart

2008-09-22T21:02:00.004-05:00

today was a long day, i didn't finish work until after 7. Bauer and I went on a very long walk. it was great. the weather was simply amazing and i was so glad to be outside enjoying the day. Bauer liked it too. Oh to be almost 9 months old again, ha, although it would be fun to be strolled around every once in a while!

I really love fall. i love the crisp mornings and breezy afternoons with carolina blue skies. bonfires where we can roast marshmallows, fairs, camp outs, football and great tv. it really is the best.

My roommate's birthday was this past weekend. It was wonderful. Friday we went to dinner at Big Daddy's, went to starbucks, played chicken foot, watched when harry met sally, baked cookies, and best of all.... surprised her with a boy. Not just any boy. Brandon Wong made an appearance for the weekend. Now I know that many of you have no clue who Brandon is, but to Laci... well lets just say they are rather fond of each other! He came for her birthday. Flew all the way from Chicago just to spend time with her. That's quality right there folks! He is a very very cool guy and after spending some time with him this weekend, really think he needs to move to the south again and re-plant those southern roots he once had! Saturday was the Hoe down. YEEHAW. Angela and I spent the day together enjoying lunch at Dickadee's Deli and shopping for a great present. We played corn hole and ladder golf, dined on some sloppy joes, grilled corn, root beer floats and played a great game of catch phrase where I said people could buy pirated dvd's in chinatown. WHAT? I never said I was good! Sunday Brandon, Laci and I went to Cabo Fish Taco. Not really my cup of tea, but it was ok. I got blocked in and then tried to squeeze through this crack. I started yelling, I can't do it, i just can't do it. Brandon got in the car and proceed to try, and then I got scared, went and found the rightful owner and she was like... you have got to be kidding me that you were actually going to try and get through here. the car made it out fine! Sunday night was church and then I took Brandon to the airport. Come back soon!

Ok, so the best part.... TONIGHT...

I get on facebook's wonderful new chat feature and find a friend that I haven't spoken to in many many many years. We started chatting and making up for lost time and my heart was just happy. i cried. over facebook chat (it happens to the best of us), and thanked God for being faithful and loving. She was one of my most favorite people and saw me through some pretty terrible times. I am so thankful I serve a God who's heart longs for restoration and puts that desire in His people. Oh I just can't get over His goodness. I've prayed many years for this day, and it was today. I'm so glad to have her back!

Saturday Night

2008-09-13T20:40:00.002-05:00

It is Saturday night. I'm sitting on my couch, football commentators are providing me company, and I am contemplating what to do. There are dishes in the dishwasher ready to be unloaded, clothes ready to be folded, a room that needs to be cleaned, a bathroom that needs to be scrubbed, trash that needs to be taken, carpet that needs to be vacuumed, and many more things that could be organized, alphabetized (kidding), thrown out, put away, etc. yet I find myself sitting on the couch not really wanting to spend my Saturday night with my cleaning date.

Today I saw pig races. Now, I am from the country, but never in my 25 years of life have I ever seen a pig race. It was a new experience that with the right company can be enjoyed. My company included a 4, 5, and 8 year old. They were thrilled about being there and watched with great excitement as the little pigs ran in a circle winning a grand prize of a piece of an oreo cookie. My thoughts were... people are finding this too much fun, I'm hot and sweaty, 75 mosquitos have bitten me, pigs stink, and who gives pigs oreos, but I guess it didn't really matter what I thought. Those pigs were the topic of discussion for the rest of the afternoon.

LAST NIGHT...

Thursday was Brittany's birthday. We had dinner at Zada Jane's. A cute little place in Plaza Midwood (really close to the Penguin). Then last night we went to Howl at the Moon at the new Epicenter in Uptown. If you have never been to a Piano Bar, it is a must! This place was so much fun! The company was great and the drinks were even better!! The entertainment was hilarious and Brittany had a really great time, which should always be the case on your birthday. Pictures to come along with more stories...

Well, I think I am going to do some cleaning.

Have a great Saturday night.

Ode to my Roommate

2008-09-11T22:48:00.003-05:00

This post is in response to my roommate's blog (www.lacirachelle.wordpress.com) where she mentioned the fact that I workout to inappropriate music... Well I decided to write a little blog about why I love my roommate...

She brings me back to reality... many times

She listens to really great music (not all appropriate I might add)

We have a really great time watching shows and making fun of bad actors/actresses

I can vent to her and then we laugh about how petty the situation actually is

She says things like... Amanda, well people in hell want ice water, and when I hear the faucet running it almost makes me pee my pants.

She is a pro at the charcoal grill

She definitely provides me with a lot of entertainment

We like to chase the moon on clear nights

She really loves Jesus

We are very different. yet the same in a lot of ways

Bottom line...

I am really thankful for her. We didn't even know each other. We met the day she moved in, and have been having fun ever since.

I have the cutest niece EVER

2008-08-26T18:04:00.012-05:00

Isn't she the cutest thing you've ever seen? Oh my gosh, I just love her!

One of Those Days

2008-08-22T20:45:00.002-05:00

Have you ever just had one of those days, that you knew from the time you got out of bed was going to be interesting? By interesting I mean, you're out of it? I have felt that way this whole day. Literally from the time my alarm clock began to beep, I just knew. Maybe it's because my life has been so crazy busy since the beginning of July, that it's telling me my time for rest has come. I felt so tired waking up this morning and I even went to bed relatively early and didn't have to wake up so early. My "out-of-it-ness" really showed itself tonight when I was washing clothes. I didn't realize I didn't put soap in with the wash until they were almost finished DRYING. What in the world? I think I might be losing it.

This weekend is going to be a busy one, so I am not sure when I will rest. Next week for me is just a 3 day week, so I am looking forward to that. I am even going to do something new next week... I'm going to have a night for me. I'm going to spend some time journaling, listening to music, reading... basically just relaxing, doing things I enjoy. It's been a long time since that has happened, so I am really excited about that night!

Back in the Country past the city limit signs...

2008-08-15T20:04:00.002-05:00

I'm in New Jersey for the weekend and I'm in the country. I am here "babysitting" my cousins. I put that in quotes because, they're actually old enough to do things for themselves, I am just here to make sure the house doesn't burn down, food gets cooked, football practice is attended, etc...

I was a little nervous about this trip, but it is going to be a great weekend. The plane ride was uneventful, thank God! After my flight to CT last month, I'm noticing my comfort level while flying has decreased quite some bit. That is very unusual for me. I used to really enjoy flying, since I have been flying since I was a little kid. But after that one adrenaline rushing flight, my heart beats rapidly with the thought of an upcoming flight. So on Thursday, I had several people praying I wouldn't have a panic attack. I was relaxing at my house, watching tv, when the thoughts of my previous plane ride came into my head. My heart started beating quickly and my palms began to sweat. I began to pray really hard because I don't want to be that person who can't fly. Check in when well, I made it through security, and then I sat at the gate for what seemed like FOREVER. Finally, I boarded the plane, found my seat and started praying. My earphones were in place, and I was jamming out to some worship music. And I survived my flight! I must admit, my palms were sweaty, especially towards the end when we encountered some turbulence. It didn't help that the two men in front of me seemed deathly afraid of flying, and with any jostle of the plane their faces scrunched and their hands were placed over their face. I am already starting to pray for my flight on Tuesday!

Ok, so anyway... I'm in the country.

I really love New England! The small towns, quaint streets, old houses. It really makes my heart happy to be in a place like this. I am about 35 miles outside of NYC, but you would have no clue. This town doesn't have any fast food chains because they don't allow drive-thru places. BUT they do have a starbucks. I have yet to visit, but I have only been here since yesterday! Right now I am sitting with the doors open, and the crickets are filling the quiet. This place reminds me of home. It's warm during the day and cool at night. The air conditioner doesn't need to be on and you can sleep with your windows open. I even slept with the blinds open last night and it was so dark in the room I couldn't believe it. Now I really LOVE the city and would live right downtown if I had enough money, but there is just something about being in the country on a summer night that makes my heart smile. I feel a closer to God out here. It's not quite as busy. Nature can't help but scream right in my face, and I can't help but thank God for everything.

I have noticed lately that I keep getting more and more busy. It's my fault because I am the one who keeps added things to my plate. I wonder how much I am missing the Lord say because I am always on the go, needed to be somewhere, do something for someone, clean this, wash that. It seems that the list goes on and on. I am really working on making time for myself. Time to reflect on life so that it doesn't pass me by. I don't want to be so busy that I miss out on now!

pictures pictures pictures

2008-07-27T08:28:00.010-05:00

I just thought I would post pictures from what I have been up to. You can read below what I have been doing, but if you don't want to do that then you can look at pictures! I've done a wedding, 3 family portraits, traveled to CT and went to the beach. My niece Noelle is the red headed baby! She is precious.

this could be long

2008-07-25T20:15:00.002-05:00

I've been rather busy this past month. My life has seemed like a whirlwind. I have been wanting to write a blog for a while, but really haven't had the time nor the energy to sit down and write out what I've been doing.

This year the 4th was very fun. I got to hang out with a really good friend of mine for the whole day. He even came and made it through a whole day with my dad and step-mom and stepsister's family and friends. We played football, cooked out, watched fireworks, but really just enjoyed hanging out with each other. The day consisted of me driving to Asheville to pick him up and driving back to drop him off late that night. We even got together the day I was coming back to Charlotte and ate Mellow Mushroom. I love that place and hate that there are none in Charlotte anymore. I'm over that though since I have a friend I can drag there when I go home.

I was in Charlotte for 3 days then flew to CT for a family reunion. Now I am normally not a nervous flyer, but for some reason this day my nerves were a little on edge. I am sitting on the airplane about to take off when they say they need 3 people from the front to move to the back. I guess they needed to balance out the plane since it was just for take off purposes. The plane is older, and quite noisy. I really prefer quiet planes. So we are going down the runway, make it in the air, dip really far to the right, then dip really far to the left and then finally we even out. At this point my heart is in my throat and I am freaking just a little. My thoughts are going out of control. People are looking at each other with puzzled faces, so I know that I am not the only one who noticed the rather scary take off. I noticed myself getting nervous about the landing. And the landing was TERRIBLE. Again, people were looking at each other wondering what was going on. That was not a very pleasant flying experience!! The flight home was more enjoyable, and I was able to sleep, so that made everything better.

While in CT I went to NYC with my cousin, went swimming a whole bunch, acted like a kid every day, played a lot with my little cousins, took pictures and had a blast. I really love my family. Jonathan and Deana came and brought Noelle. It was very fun spending time with her and letting her get to know me a little. It's hard when I don't see her often and expect her to be ok when I hold her and she's not. I was persistent, and it worked. She became fond of me rather quickly. She liked the Phelan's too. Good thing since she is one! She is going to fit right in with the family! My aunt Mary Rita and Uncle Jim (my dad's brother) had the family reunion at their house. I had so much fun. My cousin Stacey and I were acting like crazy people in the pool. We were doing side dives, side flips, back flips, back dives, well pretty much anything that required you to jump, turn your body in a strange way and enter into the pool. Then best of all my cousin Shannon and I almost beat the boys at cornhole. We lost by one point. There was a crowd, and they were all pulling for us. These two guys had won all day. And then the most unlikely people almost beat them. It was great. Too bad we couldn't pull it off in the end. New York was amazing. I really love that city. There is something new to see every time you go. This time my cousin Pam and I went to Greenwich Village, South St. Seaport, and did a water taxi. I got lectured by a store owner about how celebrities are people and they don't like other people trying to find them or where they live, I saved my cousin from getting run over by a taxi (several times), ate at a famous pizza place (John's Pizzeria), watched some basketball near Washington Square Park, listened to a street band, walked at TON, went to NYU, saw the Statue of Liberty, went to times square, had a starbucks :-), met a couple people from Canada and talked politics, and walked a TON... it was fun though.

The next weekend I photographed a wedding in a tropical storm and did a 2 family portraits in a tropical storm too. Needless to say, we were all really wet. I did get some great shots though!

And then this week I've been at the Isle of Palms all week vacationing and babysitting. It has been a fun and eventful trip. There are 3 families here and one family has been to either Urgent Care or the ER 3 times. INSANE. I swam a lot in the ocean, played beach games, swam in the pool, put on a ton of sunscreen and still got sun poisoning, played with some pretty amazing kids, had great conversations with the adults, and I am really glad I was able to come. We turned the closet in the master bedroom into my room so I didn't have to sleep on an air mattress out in the open. It was actually very nice in there, but I am looking forward to sleeping in my bed! I've missed that!

My life is slowing down for a while and I am looking forward to that.

What A Weekend

2008-06-30T19:12:00.003-05:00

This weekend my friend Quinn got married. She was a beautiful bride and looked so happy. It was very fun to be there to celebrate with her! Julie, Kelsie, Graham, and I drove up to Boone Saturday morning. Once we got there we played a game that I can't spell. I think it's bochi ball or something like that. I have to say, it was a pretty fun game, that I was actually kind of good at. We then got ready and drove up to the mountain. As we drive up, we're like... were is the wedding at? We saw a reception tent, but not a ceremonial area. Then we see a tractor and a very steep windy dirt road. We get on the trailer and proceed up the mountain for what seems like FOREVER, and all we think is... "only Quinn". There were some points that we were worried about sliding off, the road was so steep. We finally make it to the top and the view is AMAZING. The mountains and everything, it was just great. I was very happy to be there with my friends celebrating another friend's wedding. The ceremony was very sweet and filled with tears. Then the reception came. They had a BBQ. Mac-n-cheese, baked beans, a big pig (feet and all still attached), sweet tea, beer and wine. The DJ was great and the music selection was great. Julie and Graham danced every dance I think and really enjoyed themselves. Andrew loosened up towards the end of the night, while Kelsie and I were more reserved and took on the people watching role. There was this one girl, bless her heart, who tried to do the worm in a dress and ended up showing everyone her brown panties.... note to self, don't attempt the worm in a dress in front of a rather large crowd! Anyway, toward the end of the evening I began feeling really sick. I kept telling Kelsie that I didn't feel well. I couldn't really pin point the feeling, i just knew it wasn't a good one. We got to see Quinn and Parke off, and then we left. We got back to the house and I went straight to bed, while everyone else built a fire and roasted marshmallows and had fun. Well I have to say that was the longest nights of my life. I haven't been that sick in such a long time. It was TERRIBLE. So we then drive back to Charlotte, Kelsie is driving, and about 10 minutes outside of Boone, my right front tire blows. I'm thinking, what in the world. I have had this car for 2 months, and when I had my jetta, the same tire went flat. What are the odds? Graham and a really sweet passerby changed the tire. All the while, I am telling myself to keep it together and not get sick. I survived the tire change, and fell in and out of sleep the rest of the ride home. I get home and sleep for the next 18 hours or so. I feel much better today, thank God. Quinn was such a beautiful bride and Im glad I was able to make it through the wedding!

2008-06-02T23:40:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to tell you that I am working on a website right now. I just purchased a domain, and will have the website up and running soon!

www.phelanphotography.net

I cannot believe it's june already. I feel like this year has flown by, and I am about to enter into a new chapter of my life. I am not sure how long it will last, but I am sure it will be fun and adventurous and will require me to have more faith and trust in the Lord than I can possibly comprehend at this moment. This will be an exciting time in my life and I am looking forward to really learning to listen to what the Lord is saying and speaking to my heart.

The Best Birthday EVER

2008-05-29T21:24:00.002-05:00

I have to say, this birthday had to have been the best birthday I've ever had. Even though I'm not really sure what my life will look like over the next year, I am really happy with where I am and the group of friends I have around me. I am very blessed and so glad I was able to celebrate with some of my favorite people ever. Brittany planned every part of it and it was wonderful, well I didn't really enjoy the restaurant or the drinks, but the company was great. We rode the light rail in to uptown and walked to Arpa. Laci met a new friend along the way. He walked with us all the way to Arpa, and then proceeded to ask for money. Our server was in a bad mood and I kept asking him why he was in such a bad mood. I guess I was pretty hilarious because everyone was laughing at me. I had a really great night and really loved spending time with my friends. I was also asked to make a list of 25 things I had learned in my lifetime, and I am going to share them with you...

1. God is always faithful

2. plan less enjoy more

3. always wear sunscreen

4. take a lot of pictures

5. only get married once--seriously

6. don't worry about the things you have no control over

7. changing someone never works

8. car accidents suck

9. reading is actually enjoyable

10. my passion was for basketball, but i played soccer so i wouldn't foul out

11. pretending to play the guitar, almost looks as good as actually knowing how to play

12. i always sound better singing in the shower, but i also don't have a real audience

13. it is ok to have a few dirty dishes in the sink

14. forgiveness is vital to any relationship

15. shit happens

16. good friends are hard to find, difficult to leave, and impossible to forget

17. always look for the good in other people

18. give life to your dreams

19. i will always be the one who acts like a kid when the opportunity presents itself

20. I really enjoy swimming

21. God never ceases to amaze me

22. I love the beach but HATE the sand

23. I have some of the greatest friends a person could ask for

24. I love margaritas

25. always stir the drink before you take a sip :-)

making a list of 25 things is difficult

funny conversation

2008-05-06T20:15:00.002-05:00

Let me just say that America has done a great job of infiltrating the idea that a girl should be married by the time they graduate college. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked why I wasn't married or why I don't have a boyfriend. Kortney and Rylee are infamous for asking me this question. I think their main purpose is to figure out when they get to be in the wedding, but every time I see them they ask me when I'm getting married. One time Rylee's reasoning behind the question was that I was finished with college, so now I must be close to getting married. She then compared me to Leah and said, she is still in school and is getting married, why aren't you. I spared her the "I'm waiting for God to bring me the right person" speech and just said... Leah and I are different! Simple as that. I think they're worried they will be too old to be flower girls! I assured them that I would find a place for them in my wedding.
The children I'm nannying for right now ask me many times when I'm getting married too. One time we were at chick-fil-a and the girls asked me if I had a "boyfriend" and my response was no I don't. Well Sarah was like... do you have a favorite boy that is a friend? I sat thinking for a moment and Cashel looked right at her and said "well that's me, but I'm too young." We all laughed really hard at that one. Yesterday we were driving in the car, and ever since Allston has realized I'm not going to be with her family forever, she has been telling me all the things I will be missing... new van, game room, art room, etc. I keep telling her that I can come back to visit and plan to. She then asks me how old I will be when she is 20. 37 I say and then she is like... well that's not too old. I smiled and thought, I have friends now that are older than that :-). I told her that we could be friends when she was that age and maybe at that time she could babysit my children. Both Allston and Sarah were very excited about that idea. Of course I should have known the question coming next... "When are you going to have a baby?" Well, I need to be married first, and before that I need to have a boyfriend. Sarah: I have never been to a wedding. Allston: me either. Cashel: yeah I haven't either. Me: Well maybe you guys can come to my wedding. Sarah: who is going to be your flower girl? Me: I'm not sure. Maybe you guys can have a special job at my wedding and wear pretty dresses. Girls: Oh yeah, that would be so fun. Cashel: I'll wear my handsome clothes! They were just excited to think they could go to a wedding. And at last today... Cashel asks me if the wedding will be before he is 5 or after he turns 5 (he will be 5 in July). I laugh and say... Cashel I don't even have a boyfriend. It will definitely be after you turn 5. He said "ok Miss Amanda, I was just wondering."
kids are so funny

updates

2008-05-04T23:10:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack in postings lately. I don't really know how many people actually read this thing anyway, but for those of you who do, sorry for not posting in a while.
Car Update:
The Jetta died. I was very sad and really dreaded getting another car. This whole situation consummed me for a couple weeks, and then I got a new (new to me) car. I now drive a 2004 Passat. Very nice car if I do say so myself. I didn't really get a chance to bond with the Jetta, so while I was sad to see it go, I wasn't heartbroken. I'm really just glad the car thing is over.
I got to talk with a really good friend today that I haven't talked to in maybe over a year. I sent her a text asking a couple random questions and she didn't even know my number. Anyway, we talked tonight and it was great. I really love having friends that even though you don't see often (or ever) you can still pick up right where you left off. Yeah, life probably happened between the times you did talk, but when you do, it's like nothing has ever changed. It's weird the feelings and memories that come back, some that you didn't even know were there. I'm so glad I got to talk with her. I miss her presence in my life!
I'm LOVING Ephesus. That's my new church. Brittany and I are also going to the women's Bible study. We are doing the Beth Moore study on Daniel. This is my first Beth Moore study with a group, and probably the first one I will finish, so I am excited about doing this and getting to know more women of the church. Ephesus has a love for the city of Charlotte that is going to make a difference. It is going to be great to see how the Lord uses this church to impact this city. I'm glad I get to be a part of it.
I'm talking with more and more people about my photography! I talked with a couple people today who want me to take family pictures for them! I keep praying that the Lord keeps using me in this way!

overwhelmed

2008-04-23T07:53:00.002-05:00

the jetta has died. they totaled that little car. i am very bummed, sad, frustrated, etc. you get the idea. i don't know what to do. this sucks and i am in no way enjoying life right now.

in love

2008-04-18T11:56:00.002-05:00

Today I had to go by the rental car place and when I was leaving I decided to drive through Uptown to get home. This was a great decision! It was lunch time and there were TONS of people walking around. It really felt like a city. How have I missed this before? So anyway, I am just taking it all in. There are street vendors, live music, and did I mention the large amount of people? It was great. The sun is shinning, there is a light breeze in the air and I am in love with Charlotte. I think I need to spend more time in Uptown to experience this greatness more often!!

just thought i'd share

I think this weekend is going to be BEAUTIFUL and that makes me really happy!

the damage

2008-04-16T21:08:00.005-05:00

shit happens...

2008-04-15T21:35:00.002-05:00

so maybe the title isn't so chipper or friendly, but it's true. shit happens as much as i would like to think that it doesn't, it does.
let me paint you a picture...
imagine if you will a pretty little VW Jetta. charcoal grey, leather interior, sunroof, cd player, and best of all heated seats (right britt)? i am driving down providence rd. (in little jetta) minding my own business when all of a sudden ratcliffe jr. decides he would like to be early for the funeral (he was attending, not the one about to die). mr. chevi (his car) didn't think there were any cars behind a truck (i don't recall a truck... anyway) so he just decides to cross two lanes of traffic into the church parking lot. problem one... driver should always look after car/truck passes to see if any cars, even if you think there are none, are not coming. if there are no more cars, then and ONLY then is it ok to begin to turn. one should NEVER make an assumption (you know what happens when someone assumes) as to whether or not any vehicles are making their way down the street. i thought they taught that in drivers ed, but maybe that is just in the 70's and higher. mr. ratcliffe jr. probably got his license back in... um 1941. that's right, 1941. i guess they didn't teach "look before you turn" back then. anyway. so i am making my way down providence rd. when all of a sudden this grey chevi is crossing the road and i have maybe 25 ft to slam on the breaks and, you guessed it, SLAM right into the passenger rear side of the car. i said... "oh my gosh" slammed on my breaks and crash. honestly, i thought the noise would be a bit louder than it was. in a split second my air bags deployed, smoke filled the car, and my car turned off right in the road. i couldn't turn my key to start the car and i couldn't get my keys out. i sat there, not really sure as to what really happened. freaking out thinking "i was just in an accident, what am i supposed to do now." i am a first timer when it comes to accidents and well folks, they don't teach that in drivers ed now do they? WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU'RE IN AN ACCIDENT 101. maybe i should recommend that to the dmv. i sit there for several minutes. mr. ratcliffe jr. comes up to my car and says you should call the police. i try. cell phone doesn't call police. feeling really great about the fact my phone won't get me help, a lady comes up to my car and asks if i am ok and then i ask her to call the police. i am trying to call leah to see where she is so she can come and comfort me, no answer. leave a message "i was in an accident, i don't know what to do." in the best teary voice i have. try again. nothing. home number. NOTHING. husband. NOTHING. I now know what brittany felt like the day she got in her accident and couldn't reach ANYONE and i drove past her 3 times... (sorry). finally i get out of my car, after traffic assistance from mr. ratcliffe jr. and make it to the sidewalk. i call my dad. problem two... tears immediately begin to flow when dad answers the phone and dads want to fix things and give all sorts of information at the wrong times sometimes. are you fine? yes. ok you need to call this number and this number, make sure you have a tow truck taking it to the place you say, call VW, get this information, now retell the whole event to me again (4th time) and are you sure you're ok. yes. dad, can i just call you back and then you can explain what i need to do? this is a little overwhelming and i can't really comprehend what you're telling me. ahh... meanwhile, "the witness" asks me if i want her to stay, i say yes please, and she does. one nice charlottean. mr. ratcliffe jr. walks up to me and starts talking. he belongs to the family that owns ratcliffe flowers in uptown. tells me he is 5 years younger than that building, so now that we know each other we can be friends :-). he is very apologetic saying i'm sorry little lady i made your morning bad. this is the first accident i've had that has been my fault. he asks, have you been in any accidents... no sir, this is my first one. congrats mr. jr. you have stollen my perfect accident record. oh well (insert title of blog). jetta is $7,796.90 sick. rental car = honda civic. body aches. but i'm alive... hey mr. ratcliffe jr. my favorite flower is the gerber daisy... how about free ones for life?

rain rain go away

2008-04-12T14:11:00.002-05:00

i don't like when it rains on a saturday.

that's all

Beautiful Day

2008-04-11T12:48:00.002-05:00

It is an amazingly beautiful day here in Charlotte. I just wish I could be sitting at the park enjoying the sunshine, but duty calls and I must do laundry, swiffer the floors and be on time at the bus stop. At least they have soccer today, so I will be able to spend some time in the sun. I really love the sun. I shouldn't be in it much, but there isn't anything better than being outside with the sun on your face and a breeze in the air. Oh how I wish I was at the beach. Now that would be lovely.
Tomorrow I am taking pictures at a softball game, thanks to Brittany! Should be very fun capturing the girls in action. I am also taking pictures for a couple I know tomorrow evening in Uptown. Then best of all I am going to Borders to read and hang out with Britt. It's our new favorite "free" thing to do. Seriously, there isn't anything better than a good friend and good books you can read then put back on the shelf and call it a night. I'm becoming my brother! Speaking of him... I miss him! I miss him being in my every day life and just spending time with him.
hmm... just a side note... it is 1 month and 15 days until my birthday! I just don't want anyone to forget!

Random

2008-04-08T13:23:00.005-05:00

So... I am addicted to a blog. I check it every day, even several times a day just to get a quick update. It's CFhusband.blogspot.com. I was talking with a couple friends last night (we all read the blog) and one of them said "you guys have me addicted to that blog." Made me laugh because she isn't the only one who has said that to me. So thanks Christina for writing about it in your blog and making me aware!
I have found a new church. It's call Ephesus Church. Ben talks about Jesus and uses the Bible! Call me crazy, but isn't that what should be happening at church? Brittany and I saw a sign next to Starbucks, went home and looked up the website. We knew this church was promising when Jesus was mentioned in the video!!! We tried it out and we both love it! YAY for finding some place to get involved and connected to other believers.
This summer I am going to be living my dream of being a photographer. I am even taking pictures for a wedding! God is definitely opening doors for me in this area of my life and I am so excited about where He is going to take me. I have a great support system and I am ready to embark on this exciting adventure. Please pray for this!
Oh, if you have read previous posts and are wondering about Philadelphia... well I'm staying in Charlotte. I am believe this is what the Lord wants for me right now, and so I have decided to stay here. I am not saying that I won't ever get there, but right now I am where I am suppose to be and that is a very good feeling.
Have a great day!

short...

2008-01-17T17:34:00.000-06:00

This post is short and simple. I was reading a friend's blog the other day and she found a blog of some people in desperate need of prayer. This husband is blogging daily about his wife and preemie baby. It's amazing to see the Lord's hands on this family. I would encourage everyone to check it out and make it a priority on your prayer lists! Thanks!
www.cfhusband.blogspot.com

listening

2008-01-10T11:31:00.000-06:00

I love to listen to people. Listen to their stories. Listen to what the Lord is doing in their lives. Listen to their pain... you get the idea. So I'm wondering why I have such a difficult time listening to the Lord. It is much easier for me to be the listening ear to my friends and family, but when it comes to the One who created me and loves me more than any of those people, I have a hard time turning everything else off to just listen.
Today my dear friend Emily and I went to this place 24-7 prayer or something like that. Some people turned this warehouse into a place of prayer and solitude. Honestly, it's one of the most amazing things. The building is located right in the middle of a rough part of Charlotte. Many people have sought refuge there and many people have found the Lord, I mean genuinely found Him. I prayed last night that God would meet me there. I have been overwhelmed with many things lately, and I really just needed Him to meet me. He did. I can't explain it, but I know He was there. The building is dimly lit with small booths lining the walls of the open space. Chairs and couches are sporadically arranged throughout the middle and there is a table where drawings can be done. There is a smaller side room that has been set up in the same way but on a smaller scale. One room is the Holy room, you even take your shoes off to enter, the other room is where music is played. In between there are booths where you can just get away and study the word. I'm telling you this place is amazing.
I circled the entire building just taking it all in. Looking into the different booths to find out the topics related to each. After perusing the facility I made my way back to the booth set up for finding God's calling for your life. I thought that since I have been pondering this question for some time now, it was appropriate. I didn't spend a great deal of time here because we were a little pressed for time this day. But I sat there. I read about Moses and his encounter with God on the mountain. There was a notebook where people could write what they felt they were hearing from the Lord. I sat thinking. thinking. thinking. I didn't leave there with some epiphany as to what I have been called to, but I left with a peace that is a little unexplainable. My life is in the Lord's hands. I may not know the location in which He is leading me, but I know He is leading. He is continuing to prepare the way for me and I am confident that it won't disappoint. I didn't want to leave that place. I will return and take some more people with me.
So I called my mom on the way back and just told her about this place. And as I was telling her that I just think I need to move to Philly, a song came on the radio and I heard this line "If it's my will then I'm not moving, but if it's Your will then NOTHING CAN SHAKE ME"
It's amazing what happens when you really start listening.
Here I am Lord... Send ME

2007-12-01T12:47:00.001-06:00

so it's the first day of december and that means Christmas is a few weeks away along with a brand new year. I don't know if I am ready for Christmas. I have so much to get done and what seems like little time to do it. It seems difficult to be joyful and thankful when I'm running around stressing about what presents I still need to get and what I am actually going to buy. I was watching Miracle on 34th St. (the newer one) last night with my friends emily and janet and I thought to myself... I wish I still believed in Santa. I know that Christmas isn't about Santa but those days were so simple. Heartfelt belief in something that brought so much joy was great. I just wish things were simple. That I could enjoy Christmas with the same excitement and joy that I did as a child. Where did it go? What happened to that? I wish I could find it again... I pray that Jesus helps me find Peace during this season of joy and giving.

2007-11-23T22:05:00.000-06:00

So I've been thinking a lot lately about grace. About how it is easier to show some people grace than others. Why is that so? I think about how God has shown me so much grace. He doesn't pick who gets grace and who doesn't. We simply have to ask for it. So why is it so difficult to show grace to someone you know deserves it, yet you can't do it? This is something that I am struggling with.
I HATE holidays! I don't hate why we celebrate, I hate the drama that comes with them. I know that every family has their issues and someone just HAS to bring the drama with them, but I hate it. It is so hard being in a divorced family. You can never seem to make anyone happy and hurting feelings somehow always happens even when you feel you are on your best behavior. Pleasing everyone doesn't happen and then you're left feeling crappy because many expectations are set that you simply can't meet. I dont' wish this on anyone. Maybe one day it will be different... at least I am praying that way.
i hope your thanksgiving was great and uneventful

Lice is gross and nasty

2007-11-17T19:38:00.000-06:00

So yeah, this week has been crazy. I am glad that it's over and I only have a couple days of work before I go home for Thanksgiving.
This week one of the children I nanny for had lice. YUCK! And to make a REALLY long story very short I ended up having it to. NASTY! So not only did I have to clean the house I nanny at, I also had to clean my house. Cleaning my house isn't surprising since I am the ONLY one who does. It just added to the frustration. I made a comment to my roommate that if she thought I was anal about being clean before she hasn't seen anything. That just grosses me out. So anyway, my house has been de-licified and i have washed my sheets everyday this week and slept without my pillows. great fun.
Tomorrow I am taking pictures for another family! I am very excited about it and about the place the pictures are being taken!
Noelle, my niece, is doing great. Jon and Deana are doing well too. Experiencing the new parent thing... no sleep. I can't wait to see them for Christmas!
So I am going through the book of 1 Corinthians with my friend Kalle and I am loving it. I am also going through the book of Mark with my Bible Study. It truly is amazing to see how the Lord speaks through scripture to me. I didn't really have a desire to dig into the word like I do now and I think it's because I am trusting the Lord to increase my desire for that and I believe He has. I am understanding the word more and more and pulling things from scripture to apply to my life. I have never been able to do that. I am loving these Bible studies!
Well have a great night!

She's Here!!

2007-11-11T22:43:00.000-06:00

My Niece Noelle Annalise was born on Thursday at 7:15 am! She is beautiful and perfect. It's so great watching my brother take on the "daddy" role. He loves that little girl so much it's quite amazing. It's weird for me to think of my brother as a dad. He's going to make a great one, and Deana is going to be a wonderful mommy. She even has red hair! How great is that? I can't wait to meet this precious little person! Well that's all... I just wanted to introduce my niece to those of you who read this blog! have a great day!

counting down days

2007-11-03T16:00:00.000-05:00

My brother and sister-in-law are expecting their first child and she will be here any day now!!!!!! I am so very excited about this addition to the family! I can't wait to see what color hair she has and what they name her. What an exciting time in their lives.
I know it's been forever since I wrote last. Life has been crazy and busy and I really just haven't had much to say.
I am going to see the Blue Man Group tonight for Jace's birthday! This is going to be so much fun.
I cleaned the townhouse today. I really enjoy cleaning for some strange reason. i feel a sense of accomplishment once everything is in it's place.
I am really thankful for my friends! God has really blessed me and I am so very thankful!
Well I have to go get a spider man balloon! Have a great night!

asdfjkl;

2007-09-28T22:54:00.000-05:00

interesting title... i couldn't think of anything thing else so i simply placed my fingers on the home row keys and made asdfjkl; the title. placing a title on this would require me to somehow stick to the point and since i am not really sure what i would like to type/ramble about i figured that asdfjkl; was perfect.
today was uneventful. a great thing considering the last week has been super busy and each day i leave work with even more sore muscles than the day before. these days not only am i a nanny, i am also an interior decorator, peace keeper, "mom", painter, mover, general contractor, and at this point my list could go on, but for sake of your time i'll stop there. it really has been non-stop. on top of that i haven't felt well all week, so an uneventful day would definitely be something to cheer about.
highlight of my day had to have been when i took cashel down to the park to meet jace (boy i babysit for) for a play date. i see jace's car pull up and cashel is now getting very excited to see his friend. from the top of the hill jace starts yelling "HEY MANA HEY MANA" in those two words he has totally made my day! then he sees me and begins to run towards me. i need to tell you a little about the playground. at this particular playground they don't use wood chips, they decide to use recycled tires to make the surface a little more accident friendly i suppose. well this surface can be rather difficult to run on but jace doesn't care. he is headed towards me (still on the pavement) full speed ahead. as soon as he gets on the tire stuff surface he face dives into it all while still yelling my name. i laughed, got up and ran toward him with him running to me. so much like a movie i almost felt i should have been on camera!
my sister-in-law is about to have her baby! a little girl. they don't have a name picked out and since her friend just had a girl and named her lilly that seems to be out of the picture. CRAP on the friend! i loved that name!! i'm sure the name she gets will be perfect and i will love her no matter what her name is. i am way excited about this. my brother is going to make a great dad and let me just tell you... i'm going to be the BEST aunt ever! i want her to call me nonnie... my friend's little boy calls me that and it's the cutest thing ever!
i'm going to PHILADELPHIA next week and stopping in richmond to see a couple friends from meredith. this trip is going to be great. while i'm there i will be taking my cousin's family portrait. it should be beautiful there. i can't wait!
on a funny note (this post is getting longer and longer and you're still reading!!) at my Bible Study on Wednesday night the leaders challenged us to spend 15 minutes a day for the next week in complete silence. WHOA! 15 whole minutes. we are going through the book of Mark and in Mark 1 Jesus does many great things, but close to the end of the chapter He took time to be alone in the SILENCE. I did my 15 minutes today and yesterday and it was hard. the first day i wrote hoping that it would pass the time and i could get back to listening to music or watching tv. i kept looking at my watch hoping that more than 30 secs had passed! and today, i was in a house that was completely silent and my thoughts were on what type of furniture was coming and where it would need to be placed... not even for my house! literally, that's all i thought about for 15 mins. this should be interesting! i'll keep you posted!
goodnight

times are changing

2007-09-27T11:00:00.000-05:00

i'm ready for it to feel like fall. waking up to crisp sunny mornings with a chill in the air. this whole sunny humid weather is getting old, not to mention that my hair doesn't like it either! HA! fall makes me think of cheerleading and football games, early morning soccer games, and being warm in my bed and not wanting to get out. fun times fun times
so i feel that God is doing a change in my life. not sure what it is but i feel it. for those of you who know me or have spent any amount of time with me, you know that i love children. spending time with them, taking them places, teaching them new things... pretty much anything to do with children i love. that passion is going away. i still love them don't get me wrong but i don't want to be around them all the time. i had a thought the other day... i am spending my 20's taking care of other people's children. not that i think it's a bad thing to take care of other children, but that's all i'm doing. i work until 6:30 and then go babysit after that. i spend little time with people my own age, and i am feeling that the Lord wants it to be different. this is such a weird place for me because they have been my life. it's just what i do. my sister-in-law made the comment when we were on vacation visiting other family that i'm a nanny wherever i go. it's so true. i'm drawn to the children and they are drawn to me. how does that happen? i go some where and i end up playing with the kids. it's inevitable. makes me laugh sometimes because i don't go looking for children to hang out with, they find me. my little cousins in Connecticut flock to me. like for instance, this summer, we were having a party for my cousin who was about to go into highschool. i wasn't hanging around with the cousins older than me, i was running around the yard with a water gun chasing my 5 yr old cousin squirting him until he was soaked. then i was holding a baby cousin and of course taking pictures, but the fact still remains that i was with the children. i had fun and since i don't see them often i find this to be ok. i also like having adult interaction and conversation. i'm not sure if any of this makes sense or if i am just rambling. this is my attempt to work through these feelings. i love children, always have and always will, but maybe they don't need to be my life...
my head is going crazy with these thoughts...
what do i do now?

tuesday

2007-09-25T10:44:00.000-05:00

so here goes another attempt to be a blogger. maybe this time it will work. it's fun for me to think that somewhere out there someone is actually reading this, someone has a small amount of interest in what I am thinking or doing these days.

here lately i've been feeling like the Lord is calling me to be doing bigger things. Things much beyond what I believe I could be doing. i feel the Lord would have me pursue my photography passion. what that looks like, i have no idea, but i'm going with it. i love photography. being creative and capturing a priceless moment make my heart happy. i feel most alive when i am doing something that requires some sort of creative mind. being around people who are artsy makes me want to be like them. my friend Emily already thinks i'm a professional photographer! every time we are with a group of people and someone asks what i do she is the first to say "she's a professional photographer" and of course i laugh at this because i feel so far from that title it's not even funny. then she adds "well she's aspiring to be," love her!

life here in Charlotte is going well. i truly love this city and my friends. God has blessed me with a great church, bible study, and a Christian community. it's wonderful feeling that i am a part of something that is going to have a huge impact on Charlotte. my church has such a passion for seeing the people of Charlotte come back to the Lord. I'm so glad the Lord saw it fit for me to be a part of this.

ok well it's time for me to go. my dad is coming back from Ireland this evening and well since i've been driving his car around I need to have it cleaned for him. Thanks dad!

have an awesome day!